pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
