is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
