i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Randomize
