Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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