I'm gonna have a badass scar
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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