4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
