32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
