Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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