Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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