I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
