Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
