i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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