Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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