Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
