I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
