Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
