you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
