party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
