Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
