I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
