I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
