I am in a vortex of obligation.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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