can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
