i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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