Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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