Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
