I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Randomize
