4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
