...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
