my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
