office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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