no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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