PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
