I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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