And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
