South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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