No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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