So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
It's just like the Real World with babies
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
