Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I think my fart just growled at me.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
