he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize