dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize