He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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