What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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