my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just forgot I was standing up.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
