Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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