I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
