Nicole vs. Life
You can't special order awesome
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
