You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
