i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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