Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm like, not good at living.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
