yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
