..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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