I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
