Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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