We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
