Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
