Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
