Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
