I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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