; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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