I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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