Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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