But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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