You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
