Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
She told me I should be a condom model.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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