It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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